Viagra Joke

Viagra joke #1 - Confession

An 80 year old man goes to confession one day and says to his priest. “Father, I am turning 81 next week. I have a dear wife to whom I’ve been married to for 55 years. My grandson is graduating from college soon. A couple weeks ago, I tried to surprise my wife on our anniversary by taking some of those Viagra pills.”

“Did something go wrong?” The priest asked.

“Oh heavens no, everything was just superb. In fact, ever since then I’ve been feeling like I’m 25 again. But you see, Father, that’s when it all started. Last month I cheated on my wife with our 27 year old housemaid, and just a week ago I had sex with two 19 year old girls, at the same time, twice in one night!”

The priest, obviously shocked and much perturbed by the old man’s behavior asked “My son, how long has it been since your last confession?”

“Why this is my first one Father. I am Jewish”

Baffled, the priest asks “Well then why are you here telling me all this?”

“What do you mean Father? If you were me wouldn’t you tell everybody too?”

Viagra joke #2 – Magical Brownies

While a woman is having her regular check up with her doctor she informs him that her husband, while only 45, is steadily losing interest in sex. She is afraid that the reason might be her. The doctor comforts her by giving her a pill.

“I want you to slip this into his food at dinner. I believe this will solve your problems. I must warn you however, that this drug is still in the clinical trial stages, but I do not believe that there is anything serious to worry about.”

The woman, eager to get her sex life back, leaves the doctor’s office and does exactly as he says.

A month later she returns to the office.

“Thank you so much doctor! I did exactly as you said and not ten minutes into his meal he gets up, sweeps everything off the table, tears off my clothes, and has his way with me right on the dinner table. He was so wild, the legs of the table broke right off and he kept right on going on the floor.”

“My God, I am truly sorry. I had no idea the pill would be so potent. Allow me to pay for the damage incurred.”

‘Oh, it’s okay, the restaurant wasn’t that great anyways.”

Viagra joke #3

Soon after the revolutionary new drug, Viagra, launched, rumors began to spread of the drug’s possible side effects, the most serious of which may include blindness. The rumors however, have shown no signs of depressing the sales of the miracle drug. When asked about the resilience of the product’s reputation, Viagra representatives responded “Well, we’ve conducted our own studies here at Pfizer, and our data shows that blindness isn’t a huge consideration for our customers seeing how most of them would rather not see the person they’re sleeping with.”

Viagra joke #4

A woman asks her husband. “Would you like some breakfast? I can go fix you an omelet or something.”

“No it’s okay, the Viagra’s really ruined my appetite”

At lunch time, she asks her husband again “How about some chili for lunch? I know how you love chili with crackers.”

“No thank you dear, I’m still not hungry, Viagra takes away my hunger. I know I should eat but I just can’t.”

When dinner time rolls around, she asks her husband “How about some salmon for dinner? I could go and put them on the grill right now. It wouldn’t take long and besides, you really should eat something.”

“I’m sorry baby, I’m just not hungry.”

“Well in that case, would you mind getting off of me so I can get something to eat? I’m freaking starving!”

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